Why our musical tastes have nothing to do with compatibility.


From Adam who posts:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/art-markman-phd/music-preferences-and-relationships_b_922051.html

This article is COMPLETE CRAP and not even a little true (other than this finite point in time)!!!!

What they failed to tell the readers and what the researchers failed to consider is that their finding ONLY applies to college students, NOT ALL OTHER AGE CATEGORIES.

“College students getting to know each other over the Internet are more likely to ask about music preferences than about all other categories of conversation topics combined.”

Why college students?  Because just being out of the house, this group is the most likely to experiment and branch out further than what they already know.  They are OPEN.

After college, around age 25, most people, ESPECIALLY MEN, are 1,000% set in their ways about their taste in music.

Women are a bit more open to musical choices…but only because they are trying to please and win over their man.  On their own time, when the guy isn’t present, they will listen to what their personal favorites are.  If that includes Avril Levigne, Pink, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and Lady Antebellum, and Eminem, so be it.  Every girl knows they can’t listen to the music they really like in front of their man without sustaining substantial ridicule from their man…so they just don’t. 

This fact is also true of television.  Men typically like cause and effect.  For that, they enjoy the History Channel (=what are the facts?), Discovery Channel (= how does this thing work?), or shows that clearly use logic and/or cause and effect, like CSI.

Women typically like shows about relationships and interactions with other people:  The Bachelor, The Kardashians, and the Housewives of xyz town to name a few.

So, in my humble opinion, when it comes to music and television programming, the sexes are almost always NOT ON THE SAME PAGE.  How to solve this?  Well, for most couples, it is really just a matter of watching respective tv’s in separate rooms and using headphones when listening to music in the same room.

Is the title of the article correct?  Do we really like people who share our interests in music?  (Please note that the author of the article is a man, and for men, the answer to this question is particularly true).  Of course it’s true!  Women aren’t stupid.  Like I said before, women will go to great lengths to please their man…in order to win that man over.  If they have to ‘go along’ with liking your music, they will.  It’s more important for women to get into and be in a relationship than some trivial thing (to her) like taste in music.

So why don’t our musical tastes have anything to do with compatibility?  Men assume that because the women are in tune with the man’s musical taste that it means that there is compatibility.  This assumption is faulty.  The real reason, that is elusive to most men, is that the women will stop at nothing to get and be in a relationship.  To her, the ends justify the means.

Men draw a similar conclusion that if the woman is into outdoor sports, i.e. hiking, because most men like physical endeavors, that she must be into him.  Um, no.  Same as above.  She will do what she has to to land the guy.  Then, two months after marriage, the men come crying to me as to how come she never went hiking ever again?

Well, you say, isn’t anything sacred?  Can’t a guy take anything at face value?  Yes.  But quit barking up the wrong tree.  Musical tastes, whether she does physical activities outdoors, and whether she spends time in the garage with you while you tinker on your motorcycle aren’t it.

So…what can you rely on to know if she is authentically compatible with you?  DT’s Men’s Core 4:

  1. To be Needed
  2. Accepted
  3. Appreciated
  4. Respected

So there you have it.  Another gender difference problem solved.  Back to your regular programming.  As for me, I’m currently listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyMhvkC3A84 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocEPkkq0QWI.  Enjoy.

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2 thoughts on “Why our musical tastes have nothing to do with compatibility.

  1. Oh… if the solution actually came this easy.

    Yes you have presented the fundamentals, but the equations are static due to the variation of each couples dynamics.

    The core equation (Core 4, are correct and on the spot).

    Various interests are what keep a relationship interesting.

    If individuals are truly honest and respectful, they will each cultivate an appreciation in the others varied interests, including TV, and music. That way the equation continues and the answer becomes attainable in due course.

    Variety is the spice of life.

  2. i just have to caution men…men often use shared activities as a means to determine if the woman is compatible with him. i just wanna say that method isnt fool-proof and will often make you a fool. why? because many women are not honest about it. they will go along and seem like they like his activities and likes to win him over…it doesnt REALLY mean she likes those activities nor does it mean that shes even into him.

    after 6 months or so, yes, each of you should develop and find common shared activites. hopefully by then, she is more honest about her intentions with you. and its a 2 way street, it cant all be about the woman doing HIS activities. the man has to be easy going and open enough to do some of HER activities.

    for example, if he wants to go jet skiing every day and i wanna include one or two visits to a historical site, there should be give and take, and he should be open to do what i want, too. if not, we feel taken for granted, not listened to, and sooner or later, we will retaliate…not good!

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