How 90 days affects a Man.

From my radio appearance on Reality Radio (click)my listener below hears me talk about the following subject…


Ce Katz The 90-day rule applied for me. No sex until 90 days.  It builds a better foundation and strength towards a committed relationship. And yes, doors SHOULD BE OPENED! Chivalry is dead!  Big dislike!


DT:  The 90-day rule?  Yes.  A very good plan.  Did you know that 90 days has significance in a man’s body

Back in the day (before the advent of the birth control pill in the 70’s), our dads and grandpas “courted” their women. 

If a woman hops into the sack too soon, it dumps a hormone, Oxytocin, that bonds this woman to this man (even IF he is no good for her).  We waste a lot of time and emotion on a guy who may not deserve that attention, not to mention it lowers our self-esteem to be with such a guy. 

Under usual circumstances, men’s bodies dump testosterone in their system.  Testosterone is the anti-hormone of Oxytocin.  Yikes!  Who invented that!  Anyway, when a man delays sex for 90 days, like in our dad’s day, the Oxytocin level, the bonding hormone, is finally at a saturation point that it outweighs the cancelling affect that Testosterone has.  In plain terms, it means that HIS Oxytocin level is at a significant level for him to bond to her.

How special is that?  I love Mother Nature.  It’s just so exciting to me to marvel how the human body works.

The trick today is that young girls don’t know how to keep a guy interested without resorting to sex.  It is a challenge, to be sure.  Sexual hormones are super strong for a reason…nature wants you to recreate!

One of my readers said she purposefully chooses dates that are long distance (she’s a church woman) because she hasn’t been able to keep her legs closed and the distance gives her a safety net to get to know him without the sex.  To that I say “horseshit”.  Practically every guy is gonna want in (and if he doesn’t, you probably will think he’s gay or not manly enough).  It’s not his fault he wants sex.  He is biologically wired to act that way.  Women are the gatekeepers.    Always have been, always will be.

If you can’t figure out how to be a woman without sex, that’s your own damn fault.  You deserve the heartaches that come your way until you figure this out.  There are 50-year old women who still haven’t ‘got’ it.  It’s your choice.  You can learn to be an alluring female…or not.

  • They used to tell girls to not shave their legs as any (white) girl would be embarrassed to have sex with stubbly legs or to wear grandma (non-sexy) underwear or ones that have a hole in it (again, the big time embarrassment factor deters sex).
  • Aside from that, after the first three dates (almost any girl can last 3 dates), keep the dates short, like an hour or less (to avoid temptation).
  • Schedule dates in the daytime (less risky when you’re awake and sober).
  • Schedule an activity.  It’s easier to keep your mind off sex if the date is NOT spontaneous and random.  No planning leads to our animal hormones kick in luring you to sex.
  • Schedule group dates, safety in numbers.
  • A giant plus for a woman is to Be Interesting even without sex.  That is the best catnip to get a man to really fall in love with you.  To do this means you have to start reading, being active, and having interests.  No…shopping or watching Jerry Springer doesn’t count.  When he actually wants to hang around you, you’re on the right track.He will respect that you are delaying sex.  Another bonus is that it tells him that you can delay gratification.  If you can do that with him, he will conclude that you will put off other men who approach you thereby keeping you faithful to him.  Your fidelity is super-important to a guy.
  • And for goodness sake, DON’T GO TO HIS APARTMENT until you Know you wanna have sex. 

Bottom line?  He wants to know what kind of person you are.  The woman sets the tone.  If you’re a long-haul girl, he will step up to the plate and be that long-haul guy.  That’s how it works.

If he cannot be a long-haul guy this minute due to school, career, or a life event, even the skankiest player will be a gentleman to say he can no longer date you as he is not in that mode right now.  He will bow out of your life and find more suitable prey.

The weak ones let hormones control and overtake her…often with unsatisfactory results.   The smart woman wins.  And, there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman.  Have a  day.

13 thoughts on “How 90 days affects a Man.

  1. I agree with all your points however one is a bit biased and could be misconstrued as a racial comment. I view your comment solely from a cultural point when you mention ‘white’ women being embarrassed to have stubbly legs. I know many European ‘white’ women who are not embarrassed to have unshaven legs.
    My 90 Day Rule originated from my grandmother who was happily married for over 40 years but had a significant other (as did my grandfather). But that’s an entirely different topic for another day!

  2. ok. lets say ‘american’ white women. when i mentioned the ‘unshaven’ tip to the church lady, she said that wouldnt phase a “black woman”, her words…and shes right. men often complain that french women have unsightly (to our men), unshaven armpits. (sorry, i know its hard to be delicate with this topic. when my advice is specific to some but not all, i have to disclaim.)

    grandma with a significant other? wow. progressive!

  3. Linda – Ninety day is some sort of female sexual control? I have been involved in two long term relationships lasting twenty years. Thankfully neither of them made me wait most likely because the competition for my affection was great. I successful man has many choices and options for sex. Only a beta male will pine for a woman who makes him wait 90 days. In my experience even the alpha woman wants an alpha man. She wants the kind of man who pins her down wears her out, towels off and leaves. I prefer alpha women for she is clear about what she wants. I’ve concluded for myself that one woman will never satisfy my entertainment needs.

    • Tomi, 99% of my blogs are written for men. i happened to be on the radio on monday, and the female host of the host posed this question…so i answered it.

      im not advocating the 90-day rule…im just saying it works from the WOMEN’s point of view as it typically takes 90 days for a MAN to catch feelings for her. since most women want a relationship, my advice in this particular blog addresses that women’s issue.


      men are biologically programmed to NOT catch feelings, meaning most men would like nothing more than things to remain on the physical level. you are making my point with that..and there is nothing wrong with that. just ike there is nothing wrong with (most) women wanting a relationship.

      as for an alpha man, MOST women do want an alpha man, regardless if shes into him or not. thats why women DO jump in the sack fast and think about the consequences later.

      i find nothing wrong with your position. just be honest. be a rolling stone. bed women a couple of times and get out. dont mislead women that you are willing to do more than you wanna do (ie get in a relationship) as that would be deceitful. there are plenty of women who just want sex. the best demographic is a newly divorced woman. got me?

      • I am too old to make up lies to women. Honesty is always the best policy so I tell them from the start. I am a horrible boyfriend so please do not fall in love with me. I make it very clear that I have many women friends. Some I have had sexual relationships with and others not. I tell them I am into long term friendships and companions. I encourage them to continue seeing their friends. I don’t want to be the center of anyones affection. It’s red flag if a woman does not have other activities or friends in her life. It’s an even bigger red flag if she wants to ice sex for 90 days. It says to a man, I don’t like sex.

  4. red flag if a woman does not have other activities or friends in her life? agreed. youre right, you will have a better chance at a sex only relationship with a woman who doesnt put you in the center of her universe.

    even bigger red flag if she wants to ice sex for 90 days. It says to a man, I don’t like sex. i agree with you. thats why i like the newly divorced category as she WANTS sex but doesnt wanna hop back into a relationship just yet.


    1. telling a woman “please do not fall in love with me” wont work. even if she says yes, her hormones will not allow her to not want you as her bf/husband. thats how women are wired. it would be like telling you “please do not have sex with me”. see what i mean? its not gonna happen. besides, you cant tell ANOTHER person what to do/how to act. they have their own feelings aside from your instruction.
    2. “very clear that I have many women friends”. i think this is the best approach. just say “im dating others” and infer that you will always have safe sex to not put her at risk. (youre wearing a condom, right??!!). women have a hard time sharing you with other women.

    so, this approach might work on some women. for the rest, its “game on” meaning they arent listening to a word youre saying and they are going to get competitive to beat out all the other women. they are going to be the one that beats out all the rest! and convince you!

    women can do the “i only want casual sex” thing for about 3 months…thats all the hormones will allow. after that, buyer beware!

    • So, Linda, you DO say the 90 day plan is good but then you indicate that by initiating this practice, it says a woman does not want to have sex. I disagree. I wanted to hop into the sac on the first date with my now hubby, and that was BEFORE I finished my martini! It took great strength to hold back. For us both! Both of us obviously felt a connection and I know we both wanted to make sure we had a solid foundation before jumping into any orher type of relationship that would jeapordize a more lasting one. Just wanted to make my point clear.

      • Ce, there is no “one size fits all”. by that i mean, i FIRMLY BELIEVE the sexes are different. advice that may benefit the woman, may be detrimental to the guy…and vs. versa.

        back in the day (before the Pill), men married women because that was the only way they were gonna have sex. now, women give up sex without issue. if there is a stubborn woman, he’s got dozens of other options for women who WILL put out. im not saying its right or wrong, it just IS.


        most of the time, Tomi is right. delaying usually means the woman doesnt want sex or is disinterested in sex (which isnt gonna work for a man). the trick for a woman is to BE interested and show your tigress side without actually having sex. to young women, under 40, they havent a clue how to do this and therein lies the problem. You obviously DO know how to do it, so kudos to you. these women need a boatload of training. its like the church lady only picking long distance guys cuz she doesnt know how to close her legs. its really just that bad!

        As for why your hubby waited, its because you were worth waiting for. again, its all in the woman’s control. MOST WOMEN today do not know how to convey their worth (beyond sex).

        women today, even after women’s lib, think they are the “lesser sex”, less than a man. with that attitude, it gets the woman scraps. we can look to strong women in history, ie french women or Jacqueline Kennedy (who often stole JFK’s thunder) as role models on how to be. You, my dear, are in that class already. its the others i have to teach.

  5. Goofy, I think geography plays a big role in the selection process. Alaska is an extreme example where vagina supply is limited and abundant horny cocks aping around with money. How many hot chicks are willing to move to Alaska to seek fame and fortune? If one decided to move there to find a handsome beau she would most likely use the 90 day interviews. Why? Because she can. Put that same girl in LA and now she has to compete with other equally hot or hotter girls so she does what she has to do to get attention. Take me for example, I am a fat, unattractive old man self employed with money. My girlfriends tend to be over 45, my preference, they are all physically fit and beautiful in my eyes. It turns out these girls like a big man, they like the feeling of being man handled and I am happy to oblige. This comes with experience. One of my friends was in a lesbian relationship for 15yrs and she told me she always like cock and couldn’t imagine going through life without it. The problem my girlfriends are facing are guys who want to get married right away, guys who have ED, guys who don’t know how to work a woman and guy who are plain boring. Urban areas provide more opportunities to copulate fucking it turns out is a numbers game both selection and dollars. 🙂

    • “turns out these girls like a big man”…unlike men, women, in general (with the exception of 20 yr olds), could give a rats tail about what a guy LOOKS like. all women, young and old, crave CONFIDENCE…and if that comes without his good looks, she’ll take that any day of the week. the guys you describe at the end of your post is not gonna work for most women. most women want a manly guy.

      as for geography, a smart woman can ‘work’ it where ever. if you have run out of choices and are a homely looking girl, you would go to alaska to better your odds. hot girls dont have to make those compromises.

  6. Confidence is the name of the game. A guy with money, power and fame it is easy pick’in to the rest of manhood including myself having an eight inch personality helps.

  7. Confidence? bingo. in my book, i say that is #1 for women.

    guys who now have money, power or fame…naturally strut arond with Confidence. its NOT the money, power or fame that works. its the Confidence that comes as a result of attaining those other attributes.

  8. Got to have the big C first and money, power, fame follow. Shy doesn’t cut it and neither do expensive gifts. A good crack on the ass and she is all mine.

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