Regain Your Manhood.


Is she gaining the upper hand? What you can say to reclaim that YOU are the top dog in the relationship?  Also, things that make a man look weak.

Note:  The 4C’s: CONFIDENCE, Connect with Her, Caring, and Character, are the required characteristics that a man must have to win over any woman, for any reason (one night stand all the way to your forever girl, and everyone in between). Get a copy of my book:  Mastering Women.

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  • A man of few words or being silent? Does work with other men, but doesn’t work with women. Instead. Acknowledge, 3rd C: “I see how you feel that way. Let me say this about that.” Either find a solution to the problem or validate how she is feeling.
  • If you can’t talk, say you can’t talk. Instead say: “I can’t discuss this right now. Can we pick up after I come home from work?” and then, keep your word and YOU bring it up. (Send yourself a text reminder.) 
  • Don’t just ‘hang out’. Instead: find ways to help, lift, solve, and teach. Why? It establishes your 1st C, CONFIDENCE.
  • Not being the disciplinarian to your kids. Never let your kids disrespect their mom. It benefits the kids by looking up to you and it benefits her by having her back. Again, CONFIDENCE factor is intact.
  • Letting others disrespect your woman in public. It means that YOU don’t respect her if you let this behavior continue. Never let this happen.
  • Road rage because he cut you off or she didn’t use her turn signal. Really? There really are more important things in life. If you find yourself constantly ready to blow someone’s head off on the road, it rarely is about the other driver. Do some self-examination. Find out what REALLY is bugging you. Most likely, it’s your boss or a difficult person in your life. Get that stuff handled! Having Road Rage is passive behavior. Being passive is for chicks. Take charge of what is weighing you down. It’s not some random driver that has you so hot.
  • Beer Belly. Have that 40 extra pounds around your middle? In addition to it not being a good look and it’s bad for your health, you want to look like you can step up if the situation calls for it. Strength = virility = sexy. Plus, how smart you will look when your clothes just hang well? Mmm, women notice. Women will swoon. Time to hit the gym.
  • I dunno. What do you want to eat? Being wishy-washy is NOT a good, manly look. Make a decision. Book the location. Take charge. You might be ready with a Plan B, just in case she already had Chinese for lunch. Other than that, you be in command. That is what women respect.

stressed man

  • Don’t depend on women for validation. Instead, unless stated otherwise, act as if you ALREADY HAVE the validation. This exudes CONFIDENCE. Waiting for validation means you are fearful that you won’t get sex. It really has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Focusing on the issue at hand will also avoid creating roadblocks to sex.
  • Stop being ANGRY. Being angry means you don’t have control over your emotions. Confident men figure things out. You research, you evaluate, and you execute…and you do so with purpose and by being a gentleman. You’re not 5 years old. What are you going to do next? Throw yourself on the floor and pout? Because that is what we think when you go to anger.
  • Exiting a relationship doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Many men let her end the relationship. They do this by cheating or having deplorable behavior so SHE will have to break up with you. This is clearly passive behavior. It means you can’t face hard issues. Learn to break up kindly, tell her why, and then get out. It is a skill you can use in personal relationships as well as in business. Anything less is beneath you.
  • Don’t keep all chick friends. Yes, women listen better. Yes, it is easier to be friends with women. That being said, men need men. Get your validation from other men. You may not want to hear what another man says, but it usually is good advice. Men will give it to you straight. Make it your business to always have at least one male friend you can really confide in.
  • Get dirty. Sure, you may like going to the latest foreign flick or to the opera. That being said, always remember to mix it up. For example, nothing says being a man like going into the wilderness and dealing with adversity or the unknown. Going on a camping trip to get in touch with your natural strength, independence, and manliness is just what the doctor ordered.

  • Quit acting like you’re a stud in bed. You’re not. This is one area where I DON’T recommend you act like you know more than you do. Read anything and everything you can on the subject. Interview current and past girlfriends. Interview random women. Men who get this subject handled even interview call girls for their take on technique. Women don’t chop off penises or poison their partner with men who are making her happy in bed. Don’t be that fool.
  • Don’t be a Nice Guy. A Nice Guy is a chump who can’t close the deal. When you are first dating a girl, focus on Attraction, not Affection. You have to present yourself that you DO want sex with her. You cannot voice this, as that is creepy, but your actions must state clearly that you are ready to consume her. You don’t have to act on the physical aspect just yet, but you do have to convey you want more to do with her than her brother.

  • Dancing. Many men ignore the power of dancing as they may not be good at it. My advice? Get good at it. It is a definite show of CONFIDENCE, control, and power. It absolutely translates into her wanting to have sex with you.
  • Wear a condom. Not wearing one means you don’t care about your future or your wallet. Don’t be stupid.
  • Go to the doctor and dentist regularly. Not doing so means you don’t care about life or what happens to you. Early detection, in many cases means the difference between life, the quality of life, or death. Quit being a baby and get this handled.
  • Quit listening to dream killers. They aren’t living your life. YOU are. Act as if you can and will succeed at your efforts and do everything possible to make that happen.
  • Stop being a deadbeat. Order a copy of your credit report. Get the line items cleaned up. If you don’t know how call the credit bureaus or even hire an attorney. A clean credit report gives you peace of mind and the best financing rates. No sense in throwing good money away. Take steps to get your credit over 700, then over 750, then over 800. You’ll finally sleep easier.

  • She holds the purse strings. Sure, it’s easy. She has a great job and is out-earning you. Most men would jump for joy with a situation like this…BUT, you lose RESPECT in her eyes. Instead: getting a degree or more training will often translate to more dollars. Also, that hobby of yours that you are good at needs a thorough evaluation. Maybe you’re on to something that will generate extra income or even lead to self-employment where you can better control your financial fate.

  • Hating your job is a form of complaining. If you can change the aspect that you don’t like, do it. If you can change departments or change to a different manager, do it. Otherwise, if the situation is hopeless, start job hunting. Life is too short to be miserable. What this means to her? You’re taking charge. CONFIDENCE. You’re a leader by making things happen.
  • Get financially sound. In most metropolitan cities, you know you need at least $75,000 to $100,000 a year just to live. This means you can pay all your bills, put money aside for emergencies, do a little investing, and have some money left over for the nice things in life, like fine dining and travel. Anything less means you don’t love yourself enough to be self-sufficient.

  • Have extra money. It’s not the money that women love, it is what the money represents = CONFIDENCE. It also means that YOU respect yourself enough to do something nice for yourself. I’m not saying to buy a car you can’t afford, as you should live below your means. What I am saying is there is nothing sexier than a guy who has a little extra money for the finer things in life. Maybe it’s buying that cigar or special bourbon, getting a massage, having a steam at the club, getting sporting event tickets, going to see your favorite band in concert, or getting to go to that ski resort you’ve had on your bucket list for a while.

Bottom line? It’s all about personal action.  Being passive is for chicks.  Taking charge results in getting more out of life, happiness, and yes, of course, more chicks.

 

Can a Guy ‘Life-Hack’ a Girl’s Operating System?


Baseball Caps, Beards, Biceps, Body Symmetry, Broad shoulders, Cologne, Jawline. Let’s define terms.  What is a “Life-Hack’?  Much like a phone-hack, “jail-breaking” your phone is where you break into your phone to override its functionality to one that you personalize.  The reader is asking if you can ‘Life-Hack’ your girl.  He is wondering whether a guy can override a girl’s pre-programmed desire. Let’s have a look.

  1. Baseball caps? Who cares? This is not part of her operating system. It’s just trendy right now. If girls say they like them, it’s not the cap, but HOW you wear it. You have to wear it like you own it. Bring out your inner rapper and act like your Lambo is parked around the corner.
  2. Beards? Most women don’t like beards. They are scratchy and they hurt. Since most women like to kiss, this could be a negative. Few men have beards that aren’t scratchy. Maybe if you’re blondish, the hair would be softer. Why do women say they like it? If we are looking at a movie poster, i.e. from afar, a face we don’t have to kiss, it conjures up that you have been in the wild finding us food or killing the bad guys.Liam Hemsworth, yes. 3 days is good.
    Seth Rogan? Not so much.
  3. Biceps. This one is hard-wired. In general, Mother Nature made men bigger, badder, stronger, faster than women. Biceps represent strength. In the event of a threat or danger, you look like you can handle the situation. This makes a girl feel safe and protected. Every guy can pump some iron at the gym. Get to it.
  4. Body symmetry. Psychologically speaking, this trait holds true for both sexes. Symmetry represents good health, meaning good for breading. If something is out of alignment and you can work on it, do so. A strong body is a good body.
  5. Broad shoulders. Yes. For the same reasons as Biceps. Women favor strength that they don’t have.
  6. Cologne. The global perfume market is worth about 30 billion dollars! Yes, women are attracted to fragrance. In a recent famous study, women were asked to rate the attractiveness of sweaty t-shirts worn most recently by men. Women were drawn to men who have a scent different than their own. Biologically speaking, divergent genetic makeup is nature’s way of preventing in-breeding. Chemistry not only comprises whether you (emotionally) click or not, but also a person’s scent. This strong chemical composition, otherwise known as Pheromones, magnetically bond us to people we are supposed to mate with to give the offspring an advantage in fighting disease.Out of 300 de-boarding passengers, I was eventually able to figure out where the scent was coming from and followed a guy from the concourse to the baggage area to find out what scent he was wearing. Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. It was like a drug. I couldn’t not trail him. Scent is very powerful for women. I’d head over to the nearest fragrance counter to figure out what works best for you.
  7. Jawline. Aside from this feature being very photogenic, this physical attribute connotes competency. A baby’s face, which is usually round and pudgy, is still immature. Conversely, men who have defined jawlines indicate maturity. Of course, it has nothing to do with age, as genetically, some people are more blessed than others and their profile does not change with time. That being said, women prefer a strong line. A Princeton professor claimed he could predict congressional candidates with 70% accuracy by just rating their jawlines.I suppose if you have a weak jawline, you could cover that up with a beard, but then there is the danger of offending some women who do not like beards.

In summary, is it possible to jailbreak your girl?  Yes.  After watching how Jodi Arias

honeymooned the jurors, yes, anything is possible.  Should you do it?  To maximize the cast of your net, I think each guy should do whatever he can to accentuate the positives and downplay the negatives.  Some aspects of the attributes are genetically there and you have to let those go. Overall, more important than the attributes is not what they are but how you play them.  CONFIDENCE trumps all.  Being 5’7” is not on any woman’s like-ability radar.  That being said, when Tom Cruise walks into the room, everyone notices.

The more important question is why would you want to change her genetic outlook?  Much like the phone, once you hack into it, you can’t go back to the original operating system.  Guys don’t like it when the girl has had her boobs altered, looks nothing like her pre-made up face, or takes her Spanx off to reveal a sack full of mush.  If you have to resort to deceit and games to get her to like you, then you haven’t done what it takes to get her to like you.  Forget your list above.  It’s 99% CONFIDENCE.  I’d chalk up the remaining 1% to “It’s not meant to be”.  If she isn’t attracted to you, it’s for a reason.  According to my principle, nature works best when it’s easy.  If you have to force a round peg into a square hole, you’re going to end up breaking the whole table.

Follow your gut on whom you are naturally attracted to.  Nature isn’t stupid.  It has safeguards there for a reason.  The rest of your time, spend it on increasing your CONFIDENCE.

For how to begin/increase your Confidence, check out my book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20
http://www.themensadvocate.com
Twitter:  @dt4m

Come Visit me April 18th and 19th, 10-6pm, at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, Booth #2050, Indie Author’s Table @USC.  Free Admission.

Meet and Greet. 1st Date Law.


Mallory asks “I think going to dinner is a great way to spend time with someone new and get to know him. Why do you say it’s a bad idea?”

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DT: The first date should be short and sweet. Period. End of story. With NO exceptions.

I can’t tell you the amount of people who have told me that they thought the date went great because it lasted 5/fill in the blank hours. Guess what? Those people are still dating or have already been dumped by the time you read this blog. I know what I am talking about. Just do it.

The first date should be one hour and not a minute more.

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If you can’t figure this out, set your phone alarm to ring in an hour. Have your friend call you in an hour. Actually schedule another appointment that you cannot miss forcing you to leave in an hour. Whatever method you use, just do it. Limit the first date to no more than one hour.

This step is not a ‘suggestion’. It is Law.

Why is this rule so important?

1. Click or no click?

If you end up not liking the person in person, you can leave graciously. No harm, no foul, as they say. It is my experience that practically everyone sounds good on the phone or on a text. The real test is getting them in front of you. Either you guys click…or you don’t. It’s that simple. Pay attention when you meet them.

This yardstick (click/no click) should be the only aspect of the date that you are evaluating. Aside from that, just let it flow and have fun.

If you are not feeling it, be gracious, be a lady, and politely end it. Sometimes, you can do it at the end of the date, sometimes, you don’t know until the next day. That’s ok. You really should deliver the news within 24-72 hours, tops.

Say, “I really had a good time. You’re a good person. I just didn’t feel ‘the click’. Good luck in your search.” Done. Short, sweet, and to the point.

If you didn’t want to take it further, having a short, first date is a killer good reason to have a short, first date. Your time (and money…gas, parking, new outfit, and whatever else you paid for go on this date) is kept to a minimum.

You’re each not invested. This is the perfect time to make your exit. I have talked to hundreds of women who wait 6 months to tell the guy she is not interested. That’s bs…not to mention, cruel. Most women know in 15 minutes. There is no reason to drag this on for 6 months or any months. At that point, you are just using the guy for a free meal or however else you are manipulating him. I don’t approve. It’s not classy. And men don’t marry women who are not classy.

2. You clicked! Hooray!

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Most women at this point will say, “We clicked, so even though we followed your one-hour rule, we extended the date by going somewhere else to continue the date.”

To which I say, “Well, you didn’t follow my rule.”

If you clicked, you should still end the date. Why? Because you want to leave him wanting more. I often get an invitation to schedule the second date at the close of the first date. That’s how you KNOW you are doing it right. It is okay if he doesn’t ask right away, but he should ask within 72 hours. If he doesn’t, he is usually playing you, and you don’t want a player. (Translation, 90% of the time, he is married. 10% of the time, he is undecided and otherwise unavailable). Move on.

Never be the one who decides if there is a 2nd date. Let him be the man. In the beginning stages of dating, it’s always good to let the man lead. If you are doing the asking, you will never really know if HE likes YOU. He may say “yes” because he is lonely, bored, or horny. It does not mean he likes you. And in today’s modern world, he may be using you for money, power, connections or whatever, if you lead. Again, none of this tells you whether he is into you (for you) or not. Let him lead. That way, you KNOW where you stand. Plus, it always works best that way.

Think about it. It’s human nature. People want what they can’t have. If he wants to be around you more and he can’t have you (because you have to leave), he will only want you more. Follow me? Good.

Here is another reason why I have this short-date rule…be your own person. Practically ALL women want a long first date. They want a fancy dinner, or maybe dinner and a movie, or dinner and theater tickets. When I make a short, first date, they are in SHOCK. You stand out. Listen to me! You stand out! I don’t do it for that reason, but heck, let me say it again, You Stand Out. It makes them take notice. It sets you apart because you are not doing what all the other women are doing. He gets to thinking, “Gee, why is she doing this? What’s she got?”

Any upstanding gentleman at this point will be begging you to let him take you to dinner, the concert, or whatever 5 hour date he can muster. While this is very flattering, don’t take the bait. By the way, it is perfectly ok by me to have the 2nd date be long. He can do these nice outings on the 2nd date, not the first. (Don’t tell him all this! You keep the power to yourself…and by telling him your tactics, he may see this as game playing and dump you on the spot. I know. I was an idiot once and spilled the beans and lost a terrific guy in one second. He took what I said out of context and immediately dumped me.)

When you politely decline his offer (for a long first date), oh my gosh, it ups the ante even more. He is now thinking, “I’m throwing money at her and she’s not going for it? Wow. What an unusual girl!” After complimenting you in his head because he is keeping score by the way, he then turns the situation to himself (as most guys are self-centered) to say “Wow. Maybe she is going out with ME, to get to know me, and not my money or what I can do for her.” More points are racked up. Feel me?

He also is impressed that you are standing your ground. Most men worry that you are going to cheat on them. Men don’t take well to cheating. It takes them years, if not forever, to recover. Knowing a girl stands her ground makes him think of you in a whole new light (bingo! Marriage material!) This is how a man interprets your standing your ground…“When I am not with her, and if a guy approaches her, she will stand her ground to ward off his advances.” Any guy loves this quality in his woman. No man wants to feel insecure that you will cheat on him. A woman who knows how to say “no” is a woman he wants. Period.

So, how you decline? Say “Gosh, I would love to spend more time with you/go to dinner with you/go to the concert with you. Let’s just meet at 7pm as planned. We can always do those things another time.” Smile. Then, shut up. Be done with the conversation, politely, of course.

What is the perfect first date? Number one on my list is to go for a drink. One or two glasses of alcohol often relaxes people to be themselves and open up. The best time to go is before dinner, like happy hour, 4-7pm or after dinner, 7-9pm. If you or he don’t drink, so what? That person can always just have a club soda or soft drink.

My second choice is to go for a walk. Maybe get an ice cream (or not) and go for a walk on the beach, a walk around the park or lake, a walk at the farmer’s market, a walk around the grounds (like a rose garden or museum). If something grabs your attention, going on a walk is a great conversation starter. “Gosh, did you see those pears (at a farmer’s market)? They were the biggest I have ever seen.” “Gee, the birds are quite the singers today (around the lake).”

The cool thing about a walk is that you are close together but not in each other’s face. He can be as casual or as intimate as he pleases. Here’s how you KNOW you’re doing it right: He takes your hand.

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Other good marks: He walks curbside (the outside position, to keep you safe). He holds you back (nice, he is being a gentleman to protect you) when a car is passing. You can tell a lot about a man by how he walks with you.

Coffee dates? I love coffee. I have done coffee dates. Coffee dates, for me, almost never lead to a second date. A drink (alcohol) is almost always a sure thing. Coffee? Not so much. Also, coffee is usually in the morning. I usually have to be back at work or be off doing other things to start my day, meaning that I am watching the clock too much in the morning. If he is anything like me, he has got to get on with his day, too (more clock watching!). Although coffee dates meet the one-hour date rule, they tend not to be productive.

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Other ideas? If you happen to be athletic, men LOVE women who are athletic, by the way, hitting a bucket of balls is super fun. I got really good results doing this activity. Miniature golf is a good one. Shooting range at the local amusement park is good. Hiking up your local canyon is good. Remember, if you are going to do an activity, you still have to keep it under one hour. Most men love to be active, so it’s usually a good pick.

In summary, short and sweet gets the job done. If you can’t see yourself with this guy physically or for other reasons, graciously let him go. If the date goes well, the anticipation of seeing him again will shine through. Everyone wants to be wanted. Your wanting to see him again will make him like you more because he is flattered that you like him.

Have fun. Here is one last tip, pretending that you have all the time in the world, keeps you in the moment. Being in the present, makes each of you show your real selves, which is what you want. That being said, get the heck out of Dodge when the time is up. Tick-tock.

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To find out more about the author, go to www.dt4m.com

Stamina spills over to other areas.


Stamina (noun):  The ability to sustain prolonged physical or mental effort.
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Effort takes energy.  It takes conscious effort to move from place A to place B.  You make a decision to work out.  You have to set aside time in your day to do that.  The most effective way to do this is to pick a day and time that works best for you, and regularly go at that same time…that way you don’t have to “think” about it.

Pick a time that you have the most energy.  For most, it’s in the morning.  Your stomach is not too full from too much food, which weighs you down from lunch or dinner.  Most people are not starving in the morning.  If you try to go after work, you might be hungry.  That hunger may lead to your making excuses as to why you don’t want to go to the gym.  The other good thing about working out in the morning is that it sets your metabolism for the day.  Meaning, if you start off with a good habit, especially weight training, you continue to burn calories long after you have left the gym.

After you pick out your day and time, you have to get dressed.  Aside from your actual clothes, have your gym bag completely ready to go the night before.  Put your ipod/smart phone, headphones, sweat towel, gym pass, water bottle, and whatever else you will need.  The more prepared you are, the less you will make excuses in the morning as to why you can’t go.  If you need gas, get that handled the day before, too.  Ideally, you just want to get up, grab a quick snack, like Greek yogurt or an egg and maybe a little fruit, and GO!

How much time do you need?  3 hours.  If you have to leave the house at 8am, you will need to wake up at 5am, based on one hour of gym time.  This will include waking up, driving to and fro, showering, changing, getting a bite to eat, and checking your email or the daily news.

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Can’t wake up that early?  Well, I’m not gonna lie.  It is super hard if you are under 30.  To that end, maybe you have to go to the gym Saturday, Sunday, and one more day during the week.  That way you only have to wake up one day a week (before work).

If you are over 30, you can learn to wake up early.  Our bodies have circadian rhythms.  Our sleep goes in cycles.  If you can find the end of your cycle, you can wake up with ease.  If you wake in the middle of your cycle/full REM (rapid eye movement/dreaming) phase, you will be tired and cranky.  You just have to practice and learn what your cycle is.  Waking up at 6am might be an absolute terror for you.  Just keep playing with the alarm clock to find your cycle.  It might be 5:30am, it might be 5:15am, or it might be 4:45am.  You can try different times on the alarm clock by 10 to 15 minutes to find your ideal.

Now that you have made it to the gym, you have to work out.  This requires stamina, determination, and repetition.  After 28 days (in psychology, this is the time span necessary to form a habit), you forge a habit…a good habit.

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By continuing, you will see that if you have the stamina to continue working out, it will spill over to other areas of your life.  Anyone can quit.  That’s easy.  Your dedication pays off in more areas than just at the gym.  It will spill over to your work ethic.  When others quit, you will keep fine tuning and find ways to “win” at work.

Going to the gym pumps endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones into your system.  When you feel good, you act on those good feelings.  You will be more inclined to walk up to that pretty girl and start talking.  Stamina.  When you look good, you are more apt to walk with a stride in your step.  You have purpose, you have meaning, and you have CONFIDENCE.  Girls LOVE CONFIDENCE.  They need CONFIDENCE like they need air.

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So how long does this take?  Well, if you’re a total couch potato, about 3 months.  If you have been a ‘hit-or-miss’ gym type or have played sports, it could be in as little as 2 weeks.  The key to making this work, into turning fitness into a good habit is consistency.  Just go at the same time on the same days.  The other component, find something you like to do.  You may want to hire a personal trainer to kick start you into a fun and effective routine.

Fitness stamina builds pride, builds CONFIDENCE, makes you more effective at work (the physical actually clears your head to work more clearly), and boosts your CONFIDENCE with girls.

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I don’t know but I’ve been told.
Getting fit is very bold.
Sound off 1, 2.
Sound off 3, 4.
Sound off…1, 2, 3, 4!

Let’s go!

Comments? Questions? info@themensadvocate.com

Check out DT’s latest book, 8-28-13.  Caveman-Formula-FINAL THE CAVEMAN FORMULA, The Modern Manual for Winning with Women: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

Gym + YOU = Girls


Going to the gym, and more specifically, pumping iron, solves a lot of problems that benefit men in many ways. Best of all, it positively affects your interaction with women.

1. Testosterone. Testosterone is the hormone that makes you get up off your lazy ass and go get some.

a. Pumping iron definitely pumps more testosterone in your system. The higher your testosterone level the greater the urge to get the job done.

b. Another way to amp up testosterone levels is to eat red meat. The best type of meat is very lean beef. My favorite cut is Eye of Round, and when I want to indulge, Filet Mignon. Here are some nutritional facts on meat cuts: http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/the-leanest-and-fattiest-cuts-of-steak

The worst type of meat source to eat is a hamburger, especially a fast-food hamburger.  If you are going to have a hamburger, make it yourself, use lean meat (10% fat or less), skip the bun and use a lettuce wrap, and avoid spices and sauces that are loaded with salt.  There are many no-salt seasonings on the shelf now that are great.  My favorite is Mrs. Dash.

2. Attitude. Inactivity leads to depression. Exercise dumps feel-good hormones, serotonin and endorphins, into your system. It’s our body’s natural high. If there is one thing you can change to affect your mood it’s to work out or engage in a sport.

If you feel good, you will be more apt to go over and talk to that girl.

3. Heart-Healthy. Men’s bodies were meant to be in movement.  In the Caveman days, we started out as hunters.  Men’s bodies were meant to run, lift, and execute precision and skill in getting their prey.  Today, we can go back to those same roots for maximum benefits. Running or any form of cardio is heart-healthy.  Not only is cardio good for your heart, it’s good for endurance (wink), and it’s good for vascularity.

In bodybuilding, vascularity is the condition of having many, highly visible, prominent superficial veins. The skin appears “thin” due to an extreme reduction of subcutaneous fat (usually below 10%) and low water retention (non-bloat), allowing for maximum muscle definition.

Healthy blood flow also makes your penis rock hard.  Drugs, alcohol, extra belly fat, and smoking all reduce healthy blood flow.  Abdominal fat blocks the testosterone that is normally available to you, which in turn affects sexual functioning.  Non-peak sexual performance is a huge wake-up call that your heart health suffering which could lead to clogged arteries, heart attack, stroke, or even death.

Go easy on the beer.  Limit your intake to a max of two beers a day, a couple of days a week.  Studies have shown that men who had three or more mixed drinks in less than a 2 hour period couldn’t get it up.  Over time, chronic use of alcohol can cause hormonal and brain chemical changes that stifle sexual functioning, not to mention all those extra calories head straight to your waistline.

Nothing is sexier than a guy who is hungry to have sex.  Chronic low-level stress like a difficult boss, looming deadlines, and too much debt can interfere with erections and sex drive.  Commit to spending 15 minutes a day to tackle and solve one problem to remove this source of anxiety.  After one stressor is removed, repeat with the next one until you have addressed them all.

4. Visual. Let’s face it.  Men are visual.  When you look in the mirror and you see results, you see some muscle definition, you see your waistline trimming down, you can’t help but feel good.  When YOU feel good, you are more apt to approach a woman.  When you LOOK good, women are drawn to you because they know you have put out some effort.  What woman doesn’t wanna fall for a guy whom she perceives as being able to protect her?  You big and strong brute, you!

Bottom line? When your mind (endorphins) and body (muscles) are in a good place, YOU are in a good place. That positive energy spills over to more easily approaching women and putting your best foot forward.

So, get up off that couch.  Put your running shoes on.  Go for a walk around the block.  Start with baby steps.  Do this for 30 minutes every day for a week.  Next week, hit the gym, 3x a week.  Start with 5 minutes of cardio, followed by 30 minutes of weights, followed by 10 minutes of cool down and stretching.  With the free days, do an activity you enjoy.  Pick-up basketball, body surfing, hiking, swimming, bicycling, or whatever.  Just get outta the house!

I guarantee in 6 weeks you will feel better about yourself. In 6 weeks, you will be talking to more girls.

It’s simple math. Gym + YOU = Girls. Do it.

Comments? Questions? info@themensadvocate.com

Check out DT’s latest book, 8-7-13.  Caveman-Formula-6 THE CAVEMAN FORMULA, The Modern Manual for Mastering Women: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

MASTERING WOMEN book. New!


ebook cover, Tim.  Real Truth.  V3.5 re web sized.  11-5-14  Click here:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

Ms. Gross is a Men’s Advocate who champions men being men. She empowers men to
tap into their innate skills to win over women. Due to the fallout from Women’s
Lib some 35 years ago, we have a social climate that it’s somehow no longer okay
to be a man. She sets out to right this wrong.

Ms. Gross interviewed over 20,000 men to research her book, MASTERING WOMEN. After a generation of men who were raised by single and/or overbearing moms, many men today are at a great loss with how to interact with women, much less win them over. In gathering the research for her book, she found that many men are resorting
to:

a. Being cocky or arrogant
b. Being players
c. Being that guy waiting on the sidelines afraid to make a move and/or
d. Flat out resignation.

Ms. Gross asserts that you can be CONFIDENT and still remain
a gentleman…and she shows you how. She tells men how to be more effective with
women and helps them avoid doing the things that hold them back. Her tips are
straight to the point, easy to do, irreverent, funny, and entertaining. Her
advice offers much more than just Dating Tips. She shows how to lead a
fulfilled, passionate, and happy life that covers so much of the human
experience.

By liberating men, it is her conviction that not only men,
but women and children, will be elevated in this Men’s Movement. She believes
society as a whole will come to a collective understanding and stop all the game
playing that is so prevalent today.

Ms. Gross wrote this book out of curiosity and personal necessity. After a long marriage and re-entering the dating scene, she found that so many men had lost their way and were so homogenized (= womanized). She set out to find why this occurred and vowed to right this wrong.

Ms. Gross asserts that if you do the following simple 4 steps, you can win over any woman…either for a one-night stand or to win the woman of your dreams. The research leading to the 4 steps comes from how we operated as a species 10,000 years ago. Unlike popular belief, Ms. Gross asserts that not much has changed since Caveman days with regard to sex and mating as a lot of what we do is biologically and hormonally hard-wired. Ms. Gross takes these very complex processes and delivers them to you in a way that you can do TODAY. The result? You get the bottom line on how to get it done for real! No tricks, no gimmicks, no lying, no deceiving…you’re getting the real deal FROM A WOMAN. You will drop your fears and confusion about women and step into your Confidence and Power with the secrets of mating that Ms. Gross reveals.

——

LINDA GROSS, who goes by the penname ‘DT’, has a degree in Psychology
from UCLA, has been a co-host and guest on dozens of radio shows, had a weekly
cable TV show, was a top 10 blogger for years writing the popular column, Dating
Tips for Men, offers one-on-one consulting as well as seminars.

3 months to upgrade to gf status


I know some guys seem to fall in love very quickly and fall hard, but I am here to tell you to resist the urge to do so.

The reason why this happens is because men have a very short list (probably TOO short) of qualities they seek in a woman – especially compared to the endless list of qualities that women have.

Basically, men need to have a woman look good and not be psychotic. If so, men are pretty much good to go. Also, men are way more easy-going than women – at least in the first few months of dating. This is the period of time when men will overlook the most obvious personality flaws as they think they already found “the woman of their dreams”. At this point in the “relationship”, they don’t let anything bother them with their partner and are expert at letting go of the things that do bother them. In the early stages of dating, men just want to have fun, and aren’t thinking about decisions that will affect them over the long-term.

I’m not sure this is a healthy stance to take. I also don’t think the position that women take is all that wonderful either. I think both genders need to come more toward the middle. Women need to lighten up on their incessant demands on men and men need to become more discerning.

In general, men are very good judges of character, especially compared to women. Women will frequently go through years and years of choosing one rotten man after another, thinking that “he’s the one”. Most women choose a man because of how he makes her feel emotionally. The “Bad Boys” are often the ones who get picked because they make her feel some sort of emotion, even though it may be a “bad” emotion. The men who have many good qualities are often overlooked because she doesn’t “feel anything”. She is quick to label him “boring”, and moves on. It is not until she is in her thirties that she learns to assess a man based on his positive qualities rather than “how he makes her feel”.

Men are habitually good judges of character because the biological process of selecting a mate for the continuance of the species falls on men’s shoulders. Since the caveman dragged the first, hot cave-chick back to his den, men have had to shoulder the burden of finding an appropriate mate. Usually, a guy wants to upgrade his status so his offspring will be better off, meaning better looking, more physically able/fit, and better at continuing/excelling in life than he. Of course, what guy doesn’t just want to have fun and have sex with the next available chick? That being said, even at this casual, no-strings level, in the back of his mind, he is always thinking about the possibility that she might get pregnant. Because of that, even for a one-night stand, he will use every effort to have sex with a woman who is at a higher level than he…and at the very least, she has to be on the same level with him.

As such, he is not easily going to have sex (unless trashed or drugged himself) with someone most of the male population says is unfit: butt-ugly, (more than 35 pounds overweight), has a straight, boy-figure, like many female athletes, i.e. no waist, mentally deranged, physically handicapped or impaired, or frequently uses drugs.

       not bad                                      ideal                                not acceptable

Women have no such biological pull. They couldn’t care less what happens to the gene pool in the next generation. It is for that reason that women often go through years, if not decades, of making really stupid mate choices before they get a clue…if they ever do.

So, why am I telling you to wait? Because I want you to be discerning, I want you to be choosy, and most of all, because you need to see if she is CONSISTENT and has CHARACTER. I also want you to get really clear on your “must have” list. What are the deal makers? What are the deal breakers? Are you gonna waffle on them? I realize this takes introspection and some measure of effort, but hey, it’s your life and you have way more at stake than a woman does. Most laws are written in favor of women to protect the kids, and I guess that is fair in theory, but that certainly doesn’t mean you have to rush right into anything. Take your time and evaluate.

Things happen for a reason and there are certain relationship milestones that should never be missed or skipped. Don’t treat this like a TiVO machine. You can’t fast forward through the parts you don’t like. You must relish every minute you have because this minute is all you have. Once it’s gone, you will never get this opportunity again. You have to see her in a variety of different circumstances to really make a complete evaluation of her.

You may think she’s your dream girl, but what if you can’t stand her family? What if her family can’t stand you? What if her travel schedule for her job is way more than you ever anticipated now that “her season” has kicked into gear? What if you learn she cannot have kids and you want to have an armload of kids?

So…make a list (No, I’m not kidding). When a man meets a woman online, he is pressed to consider his deal makers/breakers. If she makes the cut, he will ask her out. Those of you who meet the girl in person, I am asking you to make a similar effort and not just hop in because it feels good (OR you need to get laid). However you meet the girl, I am telling you to slow down and take at least 3 months before you throw caution to the wind and latch on as a bf. Even if you don’t believe me or understand what I’m saying this minute, just wait out these first three months. You can thank me later.