How I Got Interviewed by Larry King.


I have been doing radio interviews, both terrestrial and internet, for about two years to promote each of my dating books. I have been a guest or a guest host dozens and dozens of times. Six times, I have been offered to host my own show…and I have said ‘no’, mainly because the offers were for internet radio, and that just didn’t float my boat.

I like to follow other radio people because it gives me inspiration and I learn what they are doing to stay relevant. One such personality is Poorman, Jim Trenton, of KROQ fame from the 80’s. I loved that show and I listened every day. He created a segment called Loveline. His co-host on the segment claimed the show to be his and a fallout ensued. That was about 30 years ago. Over the last year, Poorman was trying to make his comeback to radio and I was following his story to watch his journey unfold. He finally landed a gig with KCAA in the Inland Empire, weekdays at 2pm, PST,  so I wrote him and asked if I could be on his show. I told him we knew some of the same people if he needed to get a reference on me. He agreed to have me on the show that week. The show went so well that there was talk of having me on as a regular guest. I went on his show 3 times, then I asked for my own show.

I am in sales and a marketer. I have tried 1,001 things to help promote my books. Most of what I tried offered lackluster results. On the third episode with Poorman, my sales exploded. At first they were 5x more than regular sales, then the numbers just kept growing and growing. My Amazon sales graph cracked the top 100,000 books. Usually, my numbers hover around 200,000-300,000. Anything under 100,000 and you are on the map and sales are steady (on a scale of best seller, number 1, to being in the top 1,000,000). After that third day, my sales ranking had climbed to 26,000 which is very impressive. That’s when I made the call to get my own show.

I paid my dues. I already did my ‘apprenticeship’ by having my own cable TV show for 18 months while I was researching my men’s book. I was the host and the producer. It was a mountain of work. TV is much harder than radio. I had the director, the cameraman, and the engineer barking orders in my ear piece and I had to act like nothing was happening to keep the show moving. It was stupendously hard. I only quit because I needed to focus to finish my book. I felt I didn’t need more ‘time’ by taking on an internet radio show to gain experience. I was ready.

Since I’m a newbie (and not being paid a fat paycheck), to make my upcoming show viable, I have to gain sponsors, and in rather short order (as my paycheck will come from the sponsors). Ok, I’m up for the challenge, mainly because I want the show so darn badly. I will do whatever it takes!

After I get the job, I’m stressing out about how I am going to get all these sponsors. Shortly thereafter, the phone rings. It’s the reporter from the New York Post whom I met at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. He says he is covering a media event and thinks I would do well by attending. “Oh”, he adds, “Larry King is the guest of honor.” As I hang up the phone, I think “Boy, do I have lucky stars?” as to whom better to ask than the ‘King of Radio’ about sponsors?

The reporter and I get to the event quite early. Finally, at the appointed time, Mr. King walks in. He is larger than life on TV. In person, although he sturdily strides into the room, his build is much slighter than I anticipated. He is a gracious host and devotedly does his PR duties. Something in me told me that to keep a close eye on him as once his part is done, he will leave. It doesn’t matter that the invite says ‘guest of honor’. As soon as he was done, I approached him. I told him how much I loved his show and I was glued to the set at 9pm Pacific each night to watch for over a decade.

I told him I had just gotten my first radio job and it starts in 3 days.
Mr. King: You’re the host?
DT: Yes.
Mr. King: Where does it air?
DT: Inland Empire and Orange County. People who are not near there can listen on the phone or online.
Mr. King: What’s the topic?
DT: Men’s Issues. I am The Men’s Advocate. It’s a place where men can be men. We will talk about dating, relationships, sex, women, fitness, health, business, male hobbies, and the like. I will be talking about excerpts from my men’s book, too.
Mr. King: What’s your book about?
DT: I interviewed over 20,000 men to ask them what their problems are with women. I have a degree in Psychology from UCLA. I coupled the questionnaires with the academic research to write the book. After all this research, I boiled it down to four elements that any guy could do to win over any woman, any time.
Mr. King: What are the four elements?
At this point, Mr. King looks down at the floor, his head is cocked into position with his left ear upward. Then, as it would seem, right before my eyes, that ear grows to the size of a satellite dish. With the slightest body movement, he lets me know, “Shoot. I’m ready” (to listen). It is as if he wants to savor every morsel of what I’m about to say.
DT: First is CONFIDENCE. Despite what women say that it’s abs, tats, size of your member, wallet size, what kind of car you drive. It’s not the money. It’s what the money represents.
Mr. King: Yup.
DT: When I utter the words “money represents”, his body language speaks to me as if I have just found the secret to life.
Mr. King: Next?
DT: CONNECT WITH HER.
To Mr. King, I knew I didn’t have to define this one as I KNOW to be a good interviewer, you have to do the same thing. You have to engage with people. You have to climb into their world. You have to find the commonality.
Mr. King: Yup. Next?
DT: CARING. You have to give a rip.
At this point, he almost broke muster (his ear tilted upward), as if to say “Ain’t that the truth?” He didn’t because he knew he had one more point to listen to.
Mr. King: Yup.
DT: The last point is CHARACTER. You have to mean what you say and say what you mean. Walk the walk.
Mr. King: Yup.
Wait. They all start with C’s.
DT: Yes. I call my formula the 4C’s.
Mr. King: You’re going to go far, kid.
DT: Thank you.
At this point, his body language is disengaging from his ‘locked and loaded’ position.
How do I go about getting sponsors?
Mr. King: I don’t know. I had a guy do that for me.
DT: What would you tell this newbie on starting my own show?
Mr. King: Just be yourself, kid.

I am so glad that I didn’t take the moment for granted. He stayed for but a few minutes longer and left without fanfare.

How awesome is that to start my journey with the great LARRY KING??
It’s all gonna be good. Can’t wait for you to tune in and call me to say what you think about the show.
Me and Larry.  5-15

Me and Larry with book.  5-15
KCAA 1050 on the AM dial, serving the Inland Empire and Orange County.
Listen through any phone: 832-999-1050
Listen online: Live or on-demand.
Call-in: 888.909.1050

The Men’s Advocate Show with Linda Gross. Where Men can be Men.
Airs, weekly, Wednesdays, 4-5pm, PST.
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Twitter: @dt4m (Dating Tips for Men.)

How 90 days affects a Man.


From my radio appearance on Reality Radio (click)my listener below hears me talk about the following subject…

 

Ce Katz The 90-day rule applied for me. No sex until 90 days.  It builds a better foundation and strength towards a committed relationship. And yes, doors SHOULD BE OPENED! Chivalry is dead!  Big dislike!

—-

DT:  The 90-day rule?  Yes.  A very good plan.  Did you know that 90 days has significance in a man’s body

Back in the day (before the advent of the birth control pill in the 70’s), our dads and grandpas “courted” their women. 

If a woman hops into the sack too soon, it dumps a hormone, Oxytocin, that bonds this woman to this man (even IF he is no good for her).  We waste a lot of time and emotion on a guy who may not deserve that attention, not to mention it lowers our self-esteem to be with such a guy. 

Under usual circumstances, men’s bodies dump testosterone in their system.  Testosterone is the anti-hormone of Oxytocin.  Yikes!  Who invented that!  Anyway, when a man delays sex for 90 days, like in our dad’s day, the Oxytocin level, the bonding hormone, is finally at a saturation point that it outweighs the cancelling affect that Testosterone has.  In plain terms, it means that HIS Oxytocin level is at a significant level for him to bond to her.

How special is that?  I love Mother Nature.  It’s just so exciting to me to marvel how the human body works.

The trick today is that young girls don’t know how to keep a guy interested without resorting to sex.  It is a challenge, to be sure.  Sexual hormones are super strong for a reason…nature wants you to recreate!

One of my readers said she purposefully chooses dates that are long distance (she’s a church woman) because she hasn’t been able to keep her legs closed and the distance gives her a safety net to get to know him without the sex.  To that I say “horseshit”.  Practically every guy is gonna want in (and if he doesn’t, you probably will think he’s gay or not manly enough).  It’s not his fault he wants sex.  He is biologically wired to act that way.  Women are the gatekeepers.    Always have been, always will be.

If you can’t figure out how to be a woman without sex, that’s your own damn fault.  You deserve the heartaches that come your way until you figure this out.  There are 50-year old women who still haven’t ‘got’ it.  It’s your choice.  You can learn to be an alluring female…or not.

  • They used to tell girls to not shave their legs as any (white) girl would be embarrassed to have sex with stubbly legs or to wear grandma (non-sexy) underwear or ones that have a hole in it (again, the big time embarrassment factor deters sex).
  • Aside from that, after the first three dates (almost any girl can last 3 dates), keep the dates short, like an hour or less (to avoid temptation).
  • Schedule dates in the daytime (less risky when you’re awake and sober).
  • Schedule an activity.  It’s easier to keep your mind off sex if the date is NOT spontaneous and random.  No planning leads to our animal hormones kick in luring you to sex.
  • Schedule group dates, safety in numbers.
  • A giant plus for a woman is to Be Interesting even without sex.  That is the best catnip to get a man to really fall in love with you.  To do this means you have to start reading, being active, and having interests.  No…shopping or watching Jerry Springer doesn’t count.  When he actually wants to hang around you, you’re on the right track.He will respect that you are delaying sex.  Another bonus is that it tells him that you can delay gratification.  If you can do that with him, he will conclude that you will put off other men who approach you thereby keeping you faithful to him.  Your fidelity is super-important to a guy.
  • And for goodness sake, DON’T GO TO HIS APARTMENT until you Know you wanna have sex. 

Bottom line?  He wants to know what kind of person you are.  The woman sets the tone.  If you’re a long-haul girl, he will step up to the plate and be that long-haul guy.  That’s how it works.

If he cannot be a long-haul guy this minute due to school, career, or a life event, even the skankiest player will be a gentleman to say he can no longer date you as he is not in that mode right now.  He will bow out of your life and find more suitable prey.

The weak ones let hormones control and overtake her…often with unsatisfactory results.   The smart woman wins.  And, there’s nothing sexier than a confident woman.  Have a  day.