Regain Your Manhood.


Is she gaining the upper hand? What you can say to reclaim that YOU are the top dog in the relationship?  Also, things that make a man look weak.

Note:  The 4C’s: CONFIDENCE, Connect with Her, Caring, and Character, are the required characteristics that a man must have to win over any woman, for any reason (one night stand all the way to your forever girl, and everyone in between). Get a copy of my book:  Mastering Women.

Amazon cover. 12-16

  • A man of few words or being silent? Does work with other men, but doesn’t work with women. Instead. Acknowledge, 3rd C: “I see how you feel that way. Let me say this about that.” Either find a solution to the problem or validate how she is feeling.
  • If you can’t talk, say you can’t talk. Instead say: “I can’t discuss this right now. Can we pick up after I come home from work?” and then, keep your word and YOU bring it up. (Send yourself a text reminder.) 
  • Don’t just ‘hang out’. Instead: find ways to help, lift, solve, and teach. Why? It establishes your 1st C, CONFIDENCE.
  • Not being the disciplinarian to your kids. Never let your kids disrespect their mom. It benefits the kids by looking up to you and it benefits her by having her back. Again, CONFIDENCE factor is intact.
  • Letting others disrespect your woman in public. It means that YOU don’t respect her if you let this behavior continue. Never let this happen.
  • Road rage because he cut you off or she didn’t use her turn signal. Really? There really are more important things in life. If you find yourself constantly ready to blow someone’s head off on the road, it rarely is about the other driver. Do some self-examination. Find out what REALLY is bugging you. Most likely, it’s your boss or a difficult person in your life. Get that stuff handled! Having Road Rage is passive behavior. Being passive is for chicks. Take charge of what is weighing you down. It’s not some random driver that has you so hot.
  • Beer Belly. Have that 40 extra pounds around your middle? In addition to it not being a good look and it’s bad for your health, you want to look like you can step up if the situation calls for it. Strength = virility = sexy. Plus, how smart you will look when your clothes just hang well? Mmm, women notice. Women will swoon. Time to hit the gym.
  • I dunno. What do you want to eat? Being wishy-washy is NOT a good, manly look. Make a decision. Book the location. Take charge. You might be ready with a Plan B, just in case she already had Chinese for lunch. Other than that, you be in command. That is what women respect.

stressed man

  • Don’t depend on women for validation. Instead, unless stated otherwise, act as if you ALREADY HAVE the validation. This exudes CONFIDENCE. Waiting for validation means you are fearful that you won’t get sex. It really has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Focusing on the issue at hand will also avoid creating roadblocks to sex.
  • Stop being ANGRY. Being angry means you don’t have control over your emotions. Confident men figure things out. You research, you evaluate, and you execute…and you do so with purpose and by being a gentleman. You’re not 5 years old. What are you going to do next? Throw yourself on the floor and pout? Because that is what we think when you go to anger.
  • Exiting a relationship doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Many men let her end the relationship. They do this by cheating or having deplorable behavior so SHE will have to break up with you. This is clearly passive behavior. It means you can’t face hard issues. Learn to break up kindly, tell her why, and then get out. It is a skill you can use in personal relationships as well as in business. Anything less is beneath you.
  • Don’t keep all chick friends. Yes, women listen better. Yes, it is easier to be friends with women. That being said, men need men. Get your validation from other men. You may not want to hear what another man says, but it usually is good advice. Men will give it to you straight. Make it your business to always have at least one male friend you can really confide in.
  • Get dirty. Sure, you may like going to the latest foreign flick or to the opera. That being said, always remember to mix it up. For example, nothing says being a man like going into the wilderness and dealing with adversity or the unknown. Going on a camping trip to get in touch with your natural strength, independence, and manliness is just what the doctor ordered.

  • Quit acting like you’re a stud in bed. You’re not. This is one area where I DON’T recommend you act like you know more than you do. Read anything and everything you can on the subject. Interview current and past girlfriends. Interview random women. Men who get this subject handled even interview call girls for their take on technique. Women don’t chop off penises or poison their partner with men who are making her happy in bed. Don’t be that fool.
  • Don’t be a Nice Guy. A Nice Guy is a chump who can’t close the deal. When you are first dating a girl, focus on Attraction, not Affection. You have to present yourself that you DO want sex with her. You cannot voice this, as that is creepy, but your actions must state clearly that you are ready to consume her. You don’t have to act on the physical aspect just yet, but you do have to convey you want more to do with her than her brother.

  • Dancing. Many men ignore the power of dancing as they may not be good at it. My advice? Get good at it. It is a definite show of CONFIDENCE, control, and power. It absolutely translates into her wanting to have sex with you.
  • Wear a condom. Not wearing one means you don’t care about your future or your wallet. Don’t be stupid.
  • Go to the doctor and dentist regularly. Not doing so means you don’t care about life or what happens to you. Early detection, in many cases means the difference between life, the quality of life, or death. Quit being a baby and get this handled.
  • Quit listening to dream killers. They aren’t living your life. YOU are. Act as if you can and will succeed at your efforts and do everything possible to make that happen.
  • Stop being a deadbeat. Order a copy of your credit report. Get the line items cleaned up. If you don’t know how call the credit bureaus or even hire an attorney. A clean credit report gives you peace of mind and the best financing rates. No sense in throwing good money away. Take steps to get your credit over 700, then over 750, then over 800. You’ll finally sleep easier.

  • She holds the purse strings. Sure, it’s easy. She has a great job and is out-earning you. Most men would jump for joy with a situation like this…BUT, you lose RESPECT in her eyes. Instead: getting a degree or more training will often translate to more dollars. Also, that hobby of yours that you are good at needs a thorough evaluation. Maybe you’re on to something that will generate extra income or even lead to self-employment where you can better control your financial fate.

  • Hating your job is a form of complaining. If you can change the aspect that you don’t like, do it. If you can change departments or change to a different manager, do it. Otherwise, if the situation is hopeless, start job hunting. Life is too short to be miserable. What this means to her? You’re taking charge. CONFIDENCE. You’re a leader by making things happen.
  • Get financially sound. In most metropolitan cities, you know you need at least $75,000 to $100,000 a year just to live. This means you can pay all your bills, put money aside for emergencies, do a little investing, and have some money left over for the nice things in life, like fine dining and travel. Anything less means you don’t love yourself enough to be self-sufficient.

  • Have extra money. It’s not the money that women love, it is what the money represents = CONFIDENCE. It also means that YOU respect yourself enough to do something nice for yourself. I’m not saying to buy a car you can’t afford, as you should live below your means. What I am saying is there is nothing sexier than a guy who has a little extra money for the finer things in life. Maybe it’s buying that cigar or special bourbon, getting a massage, having a steam at the club, getting sporting event tickets, going to see your favorite band in concert, or getting to go to that ski resort you’ve had on your bucket list for a while.

Bottom line? It’s all about personal action.  Being passive is for chicks.  Taking charge results in getting more out of life, happiness, and yes, of course, more chicks.

 

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Can a Guy ‘Life-Hack’ a Girl’s Operating System?


Baseball Caps, Beards, Biceps, Body Symmetry, Broad shoulders, Cologne, Jawline. Let’s define terms.  What is a “Life-Hack’?  Much like a phone-hack, “jail-breaking” your phone is where you break into your phone to override its functionality to one that you personalize.  The reader is asking if you can ‘Life-Hack’ your girl.  He is wondering whether a guy can override a girl’s pre-programmed desire. Let’s have a look.

  1. Baseball caps? Who cares? This is not part of her operating system. It’s just trendy right now. If girls say they like them, it’s not the cap, but HOW you wear it. You have to wear it like you own it. Bring out your inner rapper and act like your Lambo is parked around the corner.
  2. Beards? Most women don’t like beards. They are scratchy and they hurt. Since most women like to kiss, this could be a negative. Few men have beards that aren’t scratchy. Maybe if you’re blondish, the hair would be softer. Why do women say they like it? If we are looking at a movie poster, i.e. from afar, a face we don’t have to kiss, it conjures up that you have been in the wild finding us food or killing the bad guys.Liam Hemsworth, yes. 3 days is good.
    Seth Rogan? Not so much.
  3. Biceps. This one is hard-wired. In general, Mother Nature made men bigger, badder, stronger, faster than women. Biceps represent strength. In the event of a threat or danger, you look like you can handle the situation. This makes a girl feel safe and protected. Every guy can pump some iron at the gym. Get to it.
  4. Body symmetry. Psychologically speaking, this trait holds true for both sexes. Symmetry represents good health, meaning good for breading. If something is out of alignment and you can work on it, do so. A strong body is a good body.
  5. Broad shoulders. Yes. For the same reasons as Biceps. Women favor strength that they don’t have.
  6. Cologne. The global perfume market is worth about 30 billion dollars! Yes, women are attracted to fragrance. In a recent famous study, women were asked to rate the attractiveness of sweaty t-shirts worn most recently by men. Women were drawn to men who have a scent different than their own. Biologically speaking, divergent genetic makeup is nature’s way of preventing in-breeding. Chemistry not only comprises whether you (emotionally) click or not, but also a person’s scent. This strong chemical composition, otherwise known as Pheromones, magnetically bond us to people we are supposed to mate with to give the offspring an advantage in fighting disease.Out of 300 de-boarding passengers, I was eventually able to figure out where the scent was coming from and followed a guy from the concourse to the baggage area to find out what scent he was wearing. Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men. It was like a drug. I couldn’t not trail him. Scent is very powerful for women. I’d head over to the nearest fragrance counter to figure out what works best for you.
  7. Jawline. Aside from this feature being very photogenic, this physical attribute connotes competency. A baby’s face, which is usually round and pudgy, is still immature. Conversely, men who have defined jawlines indicate maturity. Of course, it has nothing to do with age, as genetically, some people are more blessed than others and their profile does not change with time. That being said, women prefer a strong line. A Princeton professor claimed he could predict congressional candidates with 70% accuracy by just rating their jawlines.I suppose if you have a weak jawline, you could cover that up with a beard, but then there is the danger of offending some women who do not like beards.

In summary, is it possible to jailbreak your girl?  Yes.  After watching how Jodi Arias

honeymooned the jurors, yes, anything is possible.  Should you do it?  To maximize the cast of your net, I think each guy should do whatever he can to accentuate the positives and downplay the negatives.  Some aspects of the attributes are genetically there and you have to let those go. Overall, more important than the attributes is not what they are but how you play them.  CONFIDENCE trumps all.  Being 5’7” is not on any woman’s like-ability radar.  That being said, when Tom Cruise walks into the room, everyone notices.

The more important question is why would you want to change her genetic outlook?  Much like the phone, once you hack into it, you can’t go back to the original operating system.  Guys don’t like it when the girl has had her boobs altered, looks nothing like her pre-made up face, or takes her Spanx off to reveal a sack full of mush.  If you have to resort to deceit and games to get her to like you, then you haven’t done what it takes to get her to like you.  Forget your list above.  It’s 99% CONFIDENCE.  I’d chalk up the remaining 1% to “It’s not meant to be”.  If she isn’t attracted to you, it’s for a reason.  According to my principle, nature works best when it’s easy.  If you have to force a round peg into a square hole, you’re going to end up breaking the whole table.

Follow your gut on whom you are naturally attracted to.  Nature isn’t stupid.  It has safeguards there for a reason.  The rest of your time, spend it on increasing your CONFIDENCE.

For how to begin/increase your Confidence, check out my book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20
http://www.themensadvocate.com
Twitter:  @dt4m

Come Visit me April 18th and 19th, 10-6pm, at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, Booth #2050, Indie Author’s Table @USC.  Free Admission.

Onward Review. Starbucks come back story.


I bought this book because I am going to open a beer and wine bar. I thought that our respective business models are the same: Offer the customer a good place to hang out and have a drink.

I think no one understands this business model better than Schultz.

Even though there is no shortage of Schultz telling you in the book “It’s the best coffee, it’s the best coffee…” for me, and I have always known this, it’s less about the coffee and more about the coffee culture.

cofee beans.  6-14

When Starbucks came to my town, Santa Monica, CA, they opened a store inside a book store (Barnes & Noble). Until that day, some 30 years ago, a book lover was never allowed to sit in a chair and read from one of their books for 20 minutes. Until that day, a book browser was never allow to bring food and drink into the store. That day, not only was food and drink permissible, they gave you a soft, comfy leather chair to sink into to sip and read. Although the coffee is good, I learned their business model is about coffee culture, not the coffee.

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In Los Angeles, there are two rivals, Starbucks and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (CBTL). The CBTL people HATE Starbucks and will use any opportunity to tell you what they think of Starbucks. If I have heard this comment once (usually unsolicited), I have heard it a thousand times “CBTL coffee tastes better than Starbucks coffee.” Whenever they say this, I always think “Who asked for your opinion?” It’s arrogant, stupid, and not true (best coffee). And while we are at it, aren’t you CBTL people supposed to stand for the opposite of arrogance? You can generalize the CBTL crowd to be the tree-hugging, Birkenstock-wearing crowd. The Starbucks people don’t hate the CBTL people, we just avoid the store. I have never heard one Starbucks customer denigrate CTBL coffee or the coffeehouse.

As for the coffee, I hate CBTL coffee. In a 30 day period, I maybe, and I say maybe, giving the utmost benefit of the doubt, like (not love) their (drip) coffee one day out of 30. When I go to Starbucks, my drink order is Grande, non-fat, Café Latte. I agree that during the non-Schultz days, the drink could be a bit inconsistent. On Schultz’ watch, it is a very consistent, satisfying drink. If I’m going to be honest, the best (drip) coffee in the world is in Kings Road Cafe West Hollywood. Now that’s coffee! Which is why I cannot listen to the CBTL line about the coffee.

Why do I go to Starbucks? Because I like the atmosphere. The décor is inviting. It invites you to be comfortable and stay a while. You can go to read the morning news, work on a report, do your homework, or enjoy a cup with a friend. Much to my chagrin, my husband is a CBTL fan. For the last 6 years, we have gone to CBTL every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I order a plain drip (dark) when I go to CBTL. In 6 years, they don’t know my name, they don’t know what my drink order is (Hello? Unlike Starbucks’ 3,000 different drink orders – which might be a challenge, I order Plain coffee. What’s to remember?) Forget that they don’t know my name, they don’t even recognize that I have been in the store more than once. 6 years, people! 6 years!

The décor is the same décor from the day they opened. The place is dirty, dingy, and the furniture is often broken. The bathroom mirror has graffiti. I give them points because they have a professional window cleaner once a week. The outdoor tables are never cleaned in the morning. They have a thick layer of dust, leaves, and blown debris from the street sweepers. They should be cleaned every, damn morning to welcome customers.

Anyway, back to the book…who else to teach you about culture than Schultz? On his return to Starbucks, the country was facing the worst recession since the Great Depression. In just two years, he took the stock price from $8 to $33, a 400% increase…despite the recession!

I liked hearing cold, hard numbers on his sales-to-investment ratios (page 152). I definitely will implement those numbers. I like the ‘Lean’ philosophy where you let individual managers come up with better ways to build the mousetrap. In their corporate manual, they had to grind the day’s beans first thing in the morning. This resulted in lots of waste at the end of the day. One manager switched to grinding just before brewing. This resulted in a fresh brew, no waste, and a coffee smell (to lure more customers) throughout the day. They were usually out of decaf. One manager came up with a plan to never run out of decaf. The Lean technique is also a plan I will implement.

I agree with his line that “leadership is about confidence”. You have to have passion, which he does, about your convictions. As a leader, sometimes, no one understands or endorses your convictions than you. Passion gives you the ability to press forward anyway.
When they implemented a customer loyalty card, they were going to include customer preferences when the card was swiped at the terminal. I talked to a few stores after reading the book. They have the card but there are no customer preferences. I am going to talk to my IT people to see if this can be implemented as I think it’s very important. Much like Blackberry contacts had fields for business people, even adding one line of customization will be a tremendous bonus to a customer. Bottom line? Customers want to be recognized and appreciated. The coffee or the product comes second. Unlike the famous Seinfeld Soup Nazi episode, people don’t want to be dissed, or worse, ignored, no matter how good the product is.

One singular thing that made me successful in business was to CONNECT with people. I speak to this concept a great deal in my book below. Even though Schultz talks about the quality of the coffee, which I am glad this is his benchmark, you will find threaded throughout the book, just how deeply he connects with people. He does it so well, he is almost removed to give it any credit. I promise you, three times in the book, I was actually crying and had tear stains on the pages of the book. When’s the last time you cried while reading? Thought so.

I recommend this book to any business person to learn how he quadrupled his business in 2 years. There is take-away that will be helpful for any business. I just looked today, the stock price is $75.

Linda Gross, Author of

Stamina spills over to other areas.


Stamina (noun):  The ability to sustain prolonged physical or mental effort.
weight training.  8-13

Effort takes energy.  It takes conscious effort to move from place A to place B.  You make a decision to work out.  You have to set aside time in your day to do that.  The most effective way to do this is to pick a day and time that works best for you, and regularly go at that same time…that way you don’t have to “think” about it.

Pick a time that you have the most energy.  For most, it’s in the morning.  Your stomach is not too full from too much food, which weighs you down from lunch or dinner.  Most people are not starving in the morning.  If you try to go after work, you might be hungry.  That hunger may lead to your making excuses as to why you don’t want to go to the gym.  The other good thing about working out in the morning is that it sets your metabolism for the day.  Meaning, if you start off with a good habit, especially weight training, you continue to burn calories long after you have left the gym.

After you pick out your day and time, you have to get dressed.  Aside from your actual clothes, have your gym bag completely ready to go the night before.  Put your ipod/smart phone, headphones, sweat towel, gym pass, water bottle, and whatever else you will need.  The more prepared you are, the less you will make excuses in the morning as to why you can’t go.  If you need gas, get that handled the day before, too.  Ideally, you just want to get up, grab a quick snack, like Greek yogurt or an egg and maybe a little fruit, and GO!

How much time do you need?  3 hours.  If you have to leave the house at 8am, you will need to wake up at 5am, based on one hour of gym time.  This will include waking up, driving to and fro, showering, changing, getting a bite to eat, and checking your email or the daily news.

5am alarm clock.  8-13

Can’t wake up that early?  Well, I’m not gonna lie.  It is super hard if you are under 30.  To that end, maybe you have to go to the gym Saturday, Sunday, and one more day during the week.  That way you only have to wake up one day a week (before work).

If you are over 30, you can learn to wake up early.  Our bodies have circadian rhythms.  Our sleep goes in cycles.  If you can find the end of your cycle, you can wake up with ease.  If you wake in the middle of your cycle/full REM (rapid eye movement/dreaming) phase, you will be tired and cranky.  You just have to practice and learn what your cycle is.  Waking up at 6am might be an absolute terror for you.  Just keep playing with the alarm clock to find your cycle.  It might be 5:30am, it might be 5:15am, or it might be 4:45am.  You can try different times on the alarm clock by 10 to 15 minutes to find your ideal.

Now that you have made it to the gym, you have to work out.  This requires stamina, determination, and repetition.  After 28 days (in psychology, this is the time span necessary to form a habit), you forge a habit…a good habit.

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By continuing, you will see that if you have the stamina to continue working out, it will spill over to other areas of your life.  Anyone can quit.  That’s easy.  Your dedication pays off in more areas than just at the gym.  It will spill over to your work ethic.  When others quit, you will keep fine tuning and find ways to “win” at work.

Going to the gym pumps endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones into your system.  When you feel good, you act on those good feelings.  You will be more inclined to walk up to that pretty girl and start talking.  Stamina.  When you look good, you are more apt to walk with a stride in your step.  You have purpose, you have meaning, and you have CONFIDENCE.  Girls LOVE CONFIDENCE.  They need CONFIDENCE like they need air.

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So how long does this take?  Well, if you’re a total couch potato, about 3 months.  If you have been a ‘hit-or-miss’ gym type or have played sports, it could be in as little as 2 weeks.  The key to making this work, into turning fitness into a good habit is consistency.  Just go at the same time on the same days.  The other component, find something you like to do.  You may want to hire a personal trainer to kick start you into a fun and effective routine.

Fitness stamina builds pride, builds CONFIDENCE, makes you more effective at work (the physical actually clears your head to work more clearly), and boosts your CONFIDENCE with girls.

marines carrying tire.  8-13

I don’t know but I’ve been told.
Getting fit is very bold.
Sound off 1, 2.
Sound off 3, 4.
Sound off…1, 2, 3, 4!

Let’s go!

Comments? Questions? info@themensadvocate.com

Check out DT’s latest book, 8-28-13.  Caveman-Formula-FINAL THE CAVEMAN FORMULA, The Modern Manual for Winning with Women: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

Gym + YOU = Girls


Going to the gym, and more specifically, pumping iron, solves a lot of problems that benefit men in many ways. Best of all, it positively affects your interaction with women.

1. Testosterone. Testosterone is the hormone that makes you get up off your lazy ass and go get some.

a. Pumping iron definitely pumps more testosterone in your system. The higher your testosterone level the greater the urge to get the job done.

b. Another way to amp up testosterone levels is to eat red meat. The best type of meat is very lean beef. My favorite cut is Eye of Round, and when I want to indulge, Filet Mignon. Here are some nutritional facts on meat cuts: http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/the-leanest-and-fattiest-cuts-of-steak

The worst type of meat source to eat is a hamburger, especially a fast-food hamburger.  If you are going to have a hamburger, make it yourself, use lean meat (10% fat or less), skip the bun and use a lettuce wrap, and avoid spices and sauces that are loaded with salt.  There are many no-salt seasonings on the shelf now that are great.  My favorite is Mrs. Dash.

2. Attitude. Inactivity leads to depression. Exercise dumps feel-good hormones, serotonin and endorphins, into your system. It’s our body’s natural high. If there is one thing you can change to affect your mood it’s to work out or engage in a sport.

If you feel good, you will be more apt to go over and talk to that girl.

3. Heart-Healthy. Men’s bodies were meant to be in movement.  In the Caveman days, we started out as hunters.  Men’s bodies were meant to run, lift, and execute precision and skill in getting their prey.  Today, we can go back to those same roots for maximum benefits. Running or any form of cardio is heart-healthy.  Not only is cardio good for your heart, it’s good for endurance (wink), and it’s good for vascularity.

In bodybuilding, vascularity is the condition of having many, highly visible, prominent superficial veins. The skin appears “thin” due to an extreme reduction of subcutaneous fat (usually below 10%) and low water retention (non-bloat), allowing for maximum muscle definition.

Healthy blood flow also makes your penis rock hard.  Drugs, alcohol, extra belly fat, and smoking all reduce healthy blood flow.  Abdominal fat blocks the testosterone that is normally available to you, which in turn affects sexual functioning.  Non-peak sexual performance is a huge wake-up call that your heart health suffering which could lead to clogged arteries, heart attack, stroke, or even death.

Go easy on the beer.  Limit your intake to a max of two beers a day, a couple of days a week.  Studies have shown that men who had three or more mixed drinks in less than a 2 hour period couldn’t get it up.  Over time, chronic use of alcohol can cause hormonal and brain chemical changes that stifle sexual functioning, not to mention all those extra calories head straight to your waistline.

Nothing is sexier than a guy who is hungry to have sex.  Chronic low-level stress like a difficult boss, looming deadlines, and too much debt can interfere with erections and sex drive.  Commit to spending 15 minutes a day to tackle and solve one problem to remove this source of anxiety.  After one stressor is removed, repeat with the next one until you have addressed them all.

4. Visual. Let’s face it.  Men are visual.  When you look in the mirror and you see results, you see some muscle definition, you see your waistline trimming down, you can’t help but feel good.  When YOU feel good, you are more apt to approach a woman.  When you LOOK good, women are drawn to you because they know you have put out some effort.  What woman doesn’t wanna fall for a guy whom she perceives as being able to protect her?  You big and strong brute, you!

Bottom line? When your mind (endorphins) and body (muscles) are in a good place, YOU are in a good place. That positive energy spills over to more easily approaching women and putting your best foot forward.

So, get up off that couch.  Put your running shoes on.  Go for a walk around the block.  Start with baby steps.  Do this for 30 minutes every day for a week.  Next week, hit the gym, 3x a week.  Start with 5 minutes of cardio, followed by 30 minutes of weights, followed by 10 minutes of cool down and stretching.  With the free days, do an activity you enjoy.  Pick-up basketball, body surfing, hiking, swimming, bicycling, or whatever.  Just get outta the house!

I guarantee in 6 weeks you will feel better about yourself. In 6 weeks, you will be talking to more girls.

It’s simple math. Gym + YOU = Girls. Do it.

Comments? Questions? info@themensadvocate.com

Check out DT’s latest book, 8-7-13.  Caveman-Formula-6 THE CAVEMAN FORMULA, The Modern Manual for Mastering Women: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

MASTERING WOMEN book. New!


ebook cover, Tim.  Real Truth.  V3.5 re web sized.  11-5-14  Click here:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B0594II/?tag=dt4m-20

Ms. Gross is a Men’s Advocate who champions men being men. She empowers men to
tap into their innate skills to win over women. Due to the fallout from Women’s
Lib some 35 years ago, we have a social climate that it’s somehow no longer okay
to be a man. She sets out to right this wrong.

Ms. Gross interviewed over 20,000 men to research her book, MASTERING WOMEN. After a generation of men who were raised by single and/or overbearing moms, many men today are at a great loss with how to interact with women, much less win them over. In gathering the research for her book, she found that many men are resorting
to:

a. Being cocky or arrogant
b. Being players
c. Being that guy waiting on the sidelines afraid to make a move and/or
d. Flat out resignation.

Ms. Gross asserts that you can be CONFIDENT and still remain
a gentleman…and she shows you how. She tells men how to be more effective with
women and helps them avoid doing the things that hold them back. Her tips are
straight to the point, easy to do, irreverent, funny, and entertaining. Her
advice offers much more than just Dating Tips. She shows how to lead a
fulfilled, passionate, and happy life that covers so much of the human
experience.

By liberating men, it is her conviction that not only men,
but women and children, will be elevated in this Men’s Movement. She believes
society as a whole will come to a collective understanding and stop all the game
playing that is so prevalent today.

Ms. Gross wrote this book out of curiosity and personal necessity. After a long marriage and re-entering the dating scene, she found that so many men had lost their way and were so homogenized (= womanized). She set out to find why this occurred and vowed to right this wrong.

Ms. Gross asserts that if you do the following simple 4 steps, you can win over any woman…either for a one-night stand or to win the woman of your dreams. The research leading to the 4 steps comes from how we operated as a species 10,000 years ago. Unlike popular belief, Ms. Gross asserts that not much has changed since Caveman days with regard to sex and mating as a lot of what we do is biologically and hormonally hard-wired. Ms. Gross takes these very complex processes and delivers them to you in a way that you can do TODAY. The result? You get the bottom line on how to get it done for real! No tricks, no gimmicks, no lying, no deceiving…you’re getting the real deal FROM A WOMAN. You will drop your fears and confusion about women and step into your Confidence and Power with the secrets of mating that Ms. Gross reveals.

——

LINDA GROSS, who goes by the penname ‘DT’, has a degree in Psychology
from UCLA, has been a co-host and guest on dozens of radio shows, had a weekly
cable TV show, was a top 10 blogger for years writing the popular column, Dating
Tips for Men, offers one-on-one consulting as well as seminars.

Sometimes, it’s ok to be a Dick.


Sometimes, it’s ok to be a Dick.  Not only is it ok, it’s required.  This skill goes right in the face of how women are raised…to be people pleasers.  Most men have this skill naturally…women don’t, they certainly don’t.  You have to teach her that by not doing it, she is making the other person more important than she.

I have stepped up to be a witness and committee chair on a very contentious lawsuit.  It takes up a considerable amount of my time, without pay, and I’m glad to do it because I believe justice needs to be served.  That being said, my charity has its limits.  Usually, I can plan my day around an event or participation, and I’m fine.  Such was not the case last night.

I get a text, after 6pm, and he was lucky to even get me at this hour as I was working on my book deadline.  The text came not from the main attorney, but from the newbie attorney that they were revising my Declaration from earlier in the year.  As it was, this was absolutely not the right time to ask me to review and participate in this document.  The reason was I had a deadline to get the final text of my book out to be published and had but hours to get everything done.  As it was, I was very crunched for time, this added document would make certain I could be late on my own deadline.

I opened his document, it was 22 pages long and required my complete focus and concentration as it was a very important instrument for the court.  I went through and responded up to page 5.  I stopped at that point as it was clear that I could not continue at a detriment to myself and very possibly missing my own deadline.  The attorney told me his document needed to be filed tonight by midnight and he would work around my schedule to get this done.  I told him to go through the whole thing would take about 1-2 hours.  I said had this been 2pm, I could have squeezed him in, but at this hour couple with my own deadline, I could not accommodate him.  I asked why he hadn’t come to me earlier in the day.  He said the document wasn’t finished until the moment he texted me.

Of course he had to lay it on thick to say the importance of this document, if not met, the attorneys would lose the ability to file this particular motion for the rest of the trial, and it’s a crucial document to help their case.  As he is talking, I’m thinking, “Whoa…why is this made my fault that I can’t participate?”  It’s not my fault that I wasn’t given ample time to review it.  I thought why didn’t he give me a head’s up when the deadline was established?  I said (not really knowing, but an educated guess), “Bob, this deadline was created three weeks ago.”  Dead silence.  There was so much silence that I thought the line went dead.  At that moment, he knew I was right.  I said “Look, I appreciate you’re in a very delicate position.  This is not your fault, either.  You’re just the messenger, but the lead attorney is wrong and he is making you and me pay for it.”  He agreed.

At that point, I said “Lemme think about it.  I will call you back in 5 minutes.”

Dads…teach your daughters that it is perfectly OK to take a break when evaluating such a hard decision.  Just because the other person is forcing you to be on their timetable doesn’t mean you have to comply.

So, now I had to evaluate all the issues on the table.

  • Would I stop what I’m doing (my book) to help him out?  Probably yes.  I’m a girl.  I probably still would have made the other person more important than me…even at my peril.
  • I would be in a real jam on my deadline.  Even though my deadline was a bit longer than midnight, I really didn’t wanna work that late into the night on something this important (my book).
  • I had already helped the lead attorney several months ago on a similar document, late into Sunday night when I was driving home from a trip.  I wasn’t at my desk, so I had to “store” the 22 pages in my head as he read the document to me.  I had to really focus as the issues were pretty complicated.  It’s a miracle I even made it home in one piece as I really was not focusing on driving at all.  I was tired and exhausted from the trip.  I was allowing him to put my safety in jeopardy (by distracting me).  He had already gotten my “get out of jail free” card before.
  • Do I not participate because the lead attorney is wrong?  No.  I’m not like that.

I called Bob back with my decision.  I put all the above bullet points aside when giving my decision.  I am a just person and I base my answer on what is fair.  Telling me that the lead attorney didn’t contact me until now because the document wasn’t ready is flimsy.

Here is what I said “The real issue is the lead attorney didn’t value my signature (on the document tonight).  If HE didn’t think my signature was all that important, then why should I put importance on it?”

The world just stopped for a moment.  I felt like the biggest dick ever.  Dads, you gotta tell your daughters that sometimes, it’s perfectly ok to be a dick.  Heck, sometimes, it’s required.

When I write the women’s book, it is for reasons like this that women don’t get equal pay for “equal” work.  Women don’t take a stand…as they are too consumed with people pleasing.  That doesn’t work well in business.  The women of Women’s Lib got it all wrong.  You can’t demand equal pay just because of your gender (or race, or ethnicity, or sexual orientation…or anything else).  You have to command respect in the workplace.  That’s what gets you the extra bucks.

I then told Bob “If my signature (input) were that important, he would have called 4 days ago to say, “We are filing a Motion, it’s coming your way, and here’s why it’s so important.”  That would have taken 10 seconds.  Instead, his lack of action inferred that this document isn’t that big of a deal.

Bob replied, “I understand and I respect your position” and hung up the phone.  There was nothing more to say.

Aside from him, I learned a lot about myself on this conversation, too…I matter.

I felt powerful, confident, respected…and yet, fair.  It doesn’t get any better than that.

——

If you like my blog, my book comes out on Monday, 12/17/12.  www.amazon.com/author/dt4m  You don’t have to have a reading device to read it.  If you don’t like to read, certain reading device models have a built-in ‘Text to Speech’ feature, listen in the car or at the gym.